"My gums bleed.
Sometimes this happens when I brush my teeth with the vigor of a street cleaner's brushes gone mad. I remove the toothbrush from my mouth to rinse off the foamy Colgate and notice that the bristles are tinged pink. This I can handle. Worse is when this happens spontaneously. I bite into a McIntosh and see the lipstick imprint on the apple crater[...]
At times I feel my body has been transformed into a factory of infection, a vessel of virus. The wheels and cogs are constantly turning, manufacturing more toxins and poisons. My body is merely the host.
But now my greatest fear is deep-kissing a stranger, and as our tongues mingle, tasting rust, I abruptly excuse myself to dash to the bathroom to spit blood." (95-6)
- from Queer and Loathing: Rants and Raves of a Raging AIDS Clone by David B. Feinberg
This passage comes from a nonfiction memoir detailing David Feinberg's experience with the AIDS activism scene of the late 1980s and early 90s, as well as with his own battle with the virus. He outlines in his introduction, however, that his book is not meant to elicit sympathy or fulfill a cultural cliche . The book is a brazen document of the day to day moments which are rarely spoken about when the media broadly paints the image of the AIDS patient. I think of the way a medical journal outlines and isolates symptoms with bullet points. Juxtaposed with this is Feinberg's intensely humanistic prose extrapolation of the reality of bleeding gums, often characterized in a two-worded warning on the side of a prescription bottle.
Taking this into account, I chose this excerpt because it confronts the second aspect of biophobia listed on the handout, "new biological threats", incuding destruction from within the body, and particularly, epidemics. Feinberg deconstructs the looming terror of illness by plucking a single symptom (bleeding gums) and extracating the myriad moments in which this symptom shows itself in daily life. The power of his unflinching details speak to biophobia because this excerpt is Feinberg's attempt to pinpoint and in a way, conquer his worries about his own physical deterioration. We know the horrific implications of this disease, but we do not know the more tangible humiliations of the day to day. The effects are not only in Feinberg's body, but in his immediate environement--on the toothbrush bristles, on the McIntosh apple, on a stranger's tongue. This is the frightening way in which biophobia pronounces itself in this text, not simply inside the body, but in a growing trail of remnants (both inanimate and animate). Thus Feinberg's "factory of infection" produces within the body and without. It is then important to note that virus is also a product of the environment, so what we have is a fatal struggle between two "natural" forces: the human body and its inhabiting disease. Unlike other human threats, such as war and crime, there is an absence of ethical disussion when confronting illness, which is a byproduct of the environment. For this reason threats brought forth by the natural world always thwart the full unity between humans and nature. This is also the reason why it is imperative to excavate this morally ambiguous yet destructive space between conflicting environmental forces, especially when the fight is occuring within a single organism, and that organism is a human.
Comments (4)
Maya,
I find the excerpt you have posted to be a realization that all humans must come to: We are not 100% healthy and pure despite what we all might think. The gross image of the person brushing his teeth with the pink tinted toothbrush is something that I believe holds an underlying message. Although one thinks he is doing himself good by ridding himself of all of the bacteria and other things that are thought be to harmful (in this case brushing vigorously, he is instead opening up the doors to a host of different problems such as weakening his immune system that can lead to a large number of other problems (in this case gum infection). A balance is needed for our bodies to be able to adapt to our surroundings in a way where we can build up a tolerance to harmful things, yet benefit from others.
Posted by Melody Hobebesion | September 30, 2007 1:39 PM
Posted on September 30, 2007 13:39
I loved the selection you picked because of its exquisite detail and its ability to make me cringe. I agree that this is an excellent example of an opposition between two natural forces that inevitably are intertwined.In this case I understand what you mean by "threats brought forth by the natural world always thwarting the full unity between humans and nature." It does present a complication in that unity. For some reason the word "threat" reminded me of Hurricane Katrina and how nature and humans were unified by force and it was a force brought on by humans (through global warming). Yet, that force reminded us humans of the power nature has over us, when we still continue to try to have power over nature through medicine, technology, etc. It seems our unity with nature may become full, but will it be peaceful?
Posted by ChRiStiNa AuDi | September 30, 2007 6:01 PM
Posted on September 30, 2007 18:01
This is an incredible insight not only on the disease but how biophobia spreads to the daily life of a person fighting it internally and externally. I understand the appeal of a memoir that goes further than the expected conflicts of an AIDS patient by giving such grisly but clear details of having to face the disease head on, 24/7 from the regular morning toothbrush session to an intimate one with a loved one. How it infects every humanistic encounter and isolated moments. This parallels all forms of OCD and people with rudimentary obsessions with germs. I find that this also speaks about the very real and present issue that a disease like AIDs can be categorized as the very mutative parasite which branched out from insect to animal to man: the worst type. For it attacks the immune system, which paralyzes our own body from fighting against foreign entities but sustains us enough to stay alive until the simple cold (something we have mastered to cure) becomes the viral monster that kills us.
Posted by Monalisa Gomes | September 30, 2007 10:03 PM
Posted on September 30, 2007 22:03
"Morally ambiguous yet destructive space" - I love that! There is surely a growing gap between different environmental forces, both within the human body and within the entire ecosystem on earth. It seems there must be a way to balance it all out! But how?
As the pharmaceutical companies continue to grow and people continue to get sicker, the exponential effect is one of broken down immune systems, stronger strains of the flu virus, an older generation, who we should revere and care for, living on cat food because they can't afford their prescriptions, and a lack of trust in the health care system. Also, of course, is the inevitable destruction of the environment that is a product of processing these medications and transporting them.
The text that you chose was poignant in that it dealt with AIDS, a huge epidemic that is constantly on our minds, and bleeding gums, with which we can all identify. It seems like the attention previously paid to AIDS in the nineties has diminished somewhat. Surely there is new research and new progress. Unfortunately, since it is not profitable for the U.S. to discuss it (such as if there were a new drug on the market) and since its discussion inspires no immediate political gains (election time), it is swept underneath the red-tape carpet until it will be convenient and lucrative at a later date.
Personally, I believe that people need to return to natural means of healing and preventative medicine. Of course, this would not apply to AIDS patients, but I can't help but to think of the effects of medications on ALL people. The damage to the liver that ingesting pills does is irreversible, and the more antibiotics people take only weaken their immune systems in the long run, and give bacteria a chance to grow stronger and build their own immunity.
Posted by Jennifer Gambino | October 2, 2007 12:42 PM
Posted on October 2, 2007 12:42