Arielle Baer

What is it like to be an all-singing, all-dancing bat of the world?
By Ch*ck Pal*ni*k

I am Joe’s wings. I keep Joe afloat during his night feeds.

You wake up on your ledge.

Every night another flight that takes you out of your home. Takes you away from your guano hill that you spent so many nights building. Each drop placed perfectly. Spent your daylight hours working on its construction. Looks like it’s straight out of a catalogue.

All hail the giant, perfect pile of shit.

You wake up mid-flight. These rituals are second nature to you. You wake. You fly. You feed. You wake. You fly. You feed. Don’t even need the “you” anymore. Wake. Fly. Feed. Wake. Fly. Feed.

You wake up on a ledge. Not your ledge.

If I could wake up in a different cave, at a different time, could I wake up as a different bat?

I am Joe’s hopelessly lost sense of self.

(+5 points for anyone that can identify that song lyric!)

Reading about Anton's Delusion not only completely frightened me (I think becoming blind is one of my greatest fears, but the possibility of not actually knowing that you were blind somehow made this prospect even more frightening) but also reminded me of the only chapter in The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat that I can actually remember: A man is in a very bad accident and loses all ability to see color. It's not that he's colorblind, where you mistake one color for another, he's color blind. (I can't remember his name so we shall refer to him from now on as Mr. Color Blind). Apparently he can only see black and white. I had no idea this was even possible, but I guess the mind is just crazy like that. So Mr. Color Blind is so destroyed by this ailment that he chooses to make the entire world around him coincide with this predicament. He makes Mrs. Color Blind cook him foods that he knows are only black and white, he trades in his golden lab for a dalmation and so on.

your wings are too rough, she said
your black coarse fur.
and you never wash
your teeth are stained with blood
and you smell like shit.
you only eat and mate
when you're not drunk
and you? I asked

I'm just a bat

bat, bat, bat
she kissed me
and gave me her breakfast.

Saw this really interesting science article online today and it happened to fit the reading assignment perfectly, specifically the part about David Zola's reading experiment. Scientists have just discovered that when we read, our eyes act independently of one another and are actually a few letters apart. But somehow our brain can combine both images without any overlapping or breaks! This can help teach kids how to read faster, and help fix learning disabilities like dyslexia.

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/09/070910092543.htm

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070909/sc_nm/eyemovements_reading_dc_1

CONSCIOUSNESS REPORT #2

So I was just reading/commenting on Chris' post about motivation and it made me realize that my motivation has been waning, seriously, frighteningly, in the past few weeks. I originally applied to grad school because work was boring me and I didn't really have any goals in life besides maintain a job that paid my bills and let me come into work in jeans and a t-shirt. My current job allows both (I work in the programming dept for Logo, MTV Networks LGBT channel). I’d tell you my title but it really doesn’t mean much and sounds a lot cooler than my job actually is – actually me just mentioning that I work for MTV Networks makes people think that I’m hanging out with rock stars all the time. It’s funny I don’t think people even register the word “networks” – which includes Comedy Central, all the Nickelodeons, Spike, CMT and so on. They pretty much own the world (Viacom will rule us all one day, beware!) so really it could be any of those. But mostly people think it’s me and Paris Hilton hanging out on the TRL stage drinking Cristal. If only.

CONSCIOUSNESS REPORT #3

So I was watching this made for TV movie, Helter Skelter , that my friend gave me a while ago. It's about the Manson family and the Tate murders. She was completely creeped out by the movie when she saw it, I think she couldn't sleep all night. She just wanted to get rid of it. And believing that almost anything free is worth watching, I gladly took it off her hands. It's actually not too bad for a made for TV movie. The acting wasn't terrible and it kept me interested, even though it was starring that actress I hate. Now, I wasn't anywhere as near as freaked as her, but then again she's really sensitive and I'm the girl that spent her youth going through the Horror section in her neighborhood Blockbuster. Let's just say that not much gets me, or rather now that I think of it I do get scared - but I like it.

Though I hate blood. Ugh.

CONSCIOUSNESS REPORT #4

I love living alone.
Ever since I moved out of my old apartment that I shared with two roommates and into my studio, I've been blissfully glowing in my sense of aloneness. Some strange things have arisen from my new situation though - I've realized I talk to myself a lot more. Not even to myself sometimes, just aloud. But this freedom is, well, it's freeing. I don't have to worry about bothering other people or worrying if they'll hear me. For example: I just stubbed my toe on my dresser. And it hurt. A lot. I screamed. Really loudly. Then continued to yell at my toe once it started bleeding. Loudly. (I mean come on my dresser is made of the cheapest plastic, this is clearly a melodramatic overreaction on the part of my toe)

"No, no-there are depths, depths! The more I go over it the more I see in it, and the more I see in it the more I fear."