Pardon the Interruption
Life is full of interruptions. We have all been there. You’re running late, you get to the subway, rush towards the train, but the doors close, and it leaves without you. We all know just how annoying these interruptions can be, but how many of us have really had our lives interrupted?
Imagine that you’re going through a very stressful time in your life; not difficult to imagine, right? You decide to go see a therapist. He asks you a few routine questions, then suggests you take a rest. You don’t really think you need a “rest,” but you have been tired, so you agree with him. The next thing you know, you’re in a cab on your way to a mental institution, where you will spend the next two years of your life.
This is what happened to Susanna Kaysen when she was eighteen years old. She went to see a therapist, and within twenty minutes of their session, found herself committed to McLean Psychiatric Hospital. It happened just that quickly; part of the world one day, locked away from it the next. Susanna’s Kaysen’s whole life was uprooted and replanted at McLean, where she would be medicated, diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and later be inspired to write her award winning novel, Girl, Interrupted. The memoir is brilliantly arranged in small chapters that focus on different events Kaysen experienced during her two years in McLean. Pieced together with copies of her actual medical records, and made coherent by juxtaposing memories of McLean with her recent reflections, Kaysen’s work ultimately provides the reader with a critique of the mental health system of the 1960’s.
On arriving at McLean, Kaysen meets the other members of the ward. Several of the characters are described in vivid detail, and immediately the reader realizes that Kaysen’s therapist may have made a mistake. Compared to most of the other patients, Kaysen appears fairly sane.
The first patient we encounter is Polly. In the chapter entitled “Fire,” Kaysen explains how Polly had doused herself in gasoline and lit a match. This left Polly with deep scars that “alternated bright pink and white, in stripes up from her neck” (16). Yet, Polly is described as being “kind and comforting,” and is one of the few patients always willing to help those who are upset. Kaysen reflects on Polly’s situation, and thinks about her own first attempt at suicide, which doesn’t seem that extreme when paired with Polly’s:
What was that moment like for her? The moment she lit the match. Had she already tried roofs and guns and aspirin? Or was it just an inspiration?
I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning and I knew that today I had to swallow fifty aspirin…Fifty aspirin is a lot of aspirin, but going onto the street and fainting is like putting the gun back in the drawer.
She lit the match . (17)
Then there is Daisy, a rich girl who is addicted to chicken and laxatives. She is described as a “seasonal event” that “came before Thanksgiving and stayed through Christmas every year” (31). There is also a woman, known only as “The Martian’s Girlfriend,” who believes she has a small penis of her own, and wants to show it to everyone. Finally we meet Lisa, a so-called sociopath who enjoys making monthly escapes, and passes the time by making trouble around the ward.
By comparison with such a bizarre cast of characters, Kaysen’s mental problems begin to seem less severe. Although she is clearly depressed ,and suffering from anxiety, she doesn’t exactly appear irrational. Even when Kaysen describes her suicide attempt, she understands that she didn’t really want to die:
Actually, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy. (37)
Throughout the novel Kaysen does admit to having some strange experiences, such as her “problems with patterns,” and how she would sometimes see things like “a forest” or “a flock of birds” in rugs and curtains. She always backs herself up by revealing that she knew “it was a rug, or whatever it was” (41). As time progresses at the ward, however, Kaysen seems to be slipping farther and farther away from reality. In one particularly scary incident Kaysen begins scratching at her hand in order to see if she has any bones in it:
“It’s my hand,” I said. I was angry too. And I was getting really nervous. Oh God, I thought, there aren’t any bones in there, there’s nothing in there. (103)
Such incidents, which begin to occur after Kaysen has been in the ward for over a year, will have the reader, and Kaysen herself, questioning whether the ward was the best place for her. Was she really getting treatment, or was she simply being put on medicine, and left there until they knew what to do with her? Furthermore, was it really a good idea to place her in an asylum before attempting other treatments?
After being released from McLean with “a character disorder,” Kaysen tries to go on with her life. Twenty-five years later she looks into her medical records, and begins to research her diagnosis: Borderline Personality Disorder. What does this diagnosis mean exactly, and how did the hospital arrive at it?
Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by “instability of self-image, interpersonal relationships, and mood, beginning in early adulthood.” According to Kaysen’s research, those with Borderline Disorder often have trouble being alone, and sometimes engage in impulsive behavior. It is also characterized by uncertainty when it comes to career choices, and what friends or lovers to have (147).
Within these broad parameters any one of us could have easily been Susanna Kaysen. In fact, if you really think about it, Borderline Personality Disorder sounds a lot like adolescence, and Kaysen was only eighteen. Furthermore, Borderline Personality Disorder is not a chemical imbalance. It is not like Bipolar Disorder or Schizophrenia, so there is no real treatment. Why did Kaysen get better? Was she really ill from the start? And why was she committed in the first place?
What makes Girl, Interrupted so fascinating may also be what makes it so frightening. All of the characters in the book suffer from emotional turmoil so severe it prevents them from living a normal life. As you get to know them, however, they don’t appear all that different from any one of us. They have hopes and dreams, and even some endearing personalities.
The memoir begins with a photocopy from Kaysen’s case record folder, probably added for authenticity. She wants the reader to know that this really did happen to her, and she came through it. The fact that someone can go through two years of confinement and emotional turmoil, and still not have many answers is disturbing, but what is even more alarming is what she says right in the beginning:
People ask, How did you get in there? What they really want to know is if they are likely to end up in their as well. I can’t answer the real question. All I can tell them is, It’s easy. (2)
Many of Kaysen’s thoughts during her “mental breakdown” may not be that different from thoughts we’ve had during times of severe stress. Does this mean that this can happen to us too? Is it really possible we could wake up one day, and find our lives completely changed? Furthermore, does this mean that all the people in the psychiatric ward were once like us? Did they give in to the abandonment of being confined, and choose to let themselves sink into “insanity?”
Girl, Interrupted grabs the reader’s attention with reality and dark humor. Kaysen guides us through the roller coaster ride that is mental illness with a smile on her face. She realizes that she was never that different from those outside the ward, and it gave her the strength to overcome one of life’s interruptions. This book is a must for anyone who has ever been depressed, confused, or questioned their sanity. Life is full of interruptions, Girl, Interrupted is a worthwhile one.
