Karin Alterescu

I find myself still thinking about Clive and his memory for music several hours after hearing the piece. Clive's retention of his musical skill set fascinated me. For years I have tried to understand and explain my own experience when I play the piano. When I play a piece I know well the only thing I am conscious of is my emotional experience of the piece and where its going. I am never aware of my finger movements or the keys, chords, or any formal rules of music. In fact...I am not aware of much of anything around me. Its as if I am in a bubble. It sounds like that's a very similar experience that Clive has when he is conducting. It makes me think that experienced musician's experience of music is not music at all...but the pure emotional experience of that music. Clive may have not retained two abilities: musical skill set and love for his wife, but rather a preserved ability to feel emotion.

(By the way, my experience of not being conscious of my finger movements while I play is not weird at all. It is well documented that skilled motor action becomes automatic and drops to the realm of unconscious when it is overlearned. This may also help account for certain abilities Clive can still preform...even though he is not conscious of his knowledge of them.)