I often feel during waking life, although I don't really display it, that I'm not fulfilling my full potential. I know for example, that had I trruly wanted to, I would have been an excellent doctor or RN, due to the fact that I care for others. I wouldn't be one of those people in the medical profession that treats patients as numbers. I'd actually say kind things to them to get their spirits up. My problem ws I was lazy and lacked that extra motivational drive, even though I knew I could handle it academically. Things changed once my mom was diagnosed with diabetes. I wanted to work to make things better for diabetics, but felt it was too late because of the track that I've pursued academically (teaching). My dreams would echoe the sentiment that I mentioned above: I'd dream about being a failure and only wanting to take the "easy way out" of things, rather than wanting to work hard. I had friends growing up--2 actually--who I knew I was at least as as smart as, if not smarter. I even helped to tutor one of these friends one time, even though I was 2 years older. They became doctors, with one of my friends doing so, ironicaly enough, because his father was a diabetic---just ike my mother. These thoughts would haunt my dreams often---even today.