The Amazing Dr. Funkenstein and the Mind-altering burrito

Ladies and Germs, you know it’s that time of year when you start getting mail for The Bloggies-- the only award you’ll ever get for sleeping. I’d like to remind you how the process works before I describe the catagories. You’ll read this blurb, soaking in the catagories, and while you finish up your blog work you’ll send me nominations for the catagories (either by email or on my blog). I’ll compile the best of the best and send out a ballot. And when we party I’ll put on a little show for y’all.
Here are the catagories and a description of each catagory.

Le Dream Surreal
You’re driving to the grocery store. You hobble into the store using a ironing board for a crutch and realize your aunt (who’s been dead for twelve years) is the cashier. She tells you you have to slay the dragon so she takes you under the counter and into a dungeon. Well, you guys imagine the rest. This is for the most surreal entry of the year. Look for the dream that you thought was entirely insane.

The Dashell Hammett Award
This award is for an entry that is a mystery. Not everything is apparent right away-- the story unfolds to it’s conclusion.

Most Evil Dream
This dream must spew satan. You should be stealing some kid’s bike and run over a little old lady with it.

Freud-boy
This is for your favorite entry that discusses our friend Freud. Please note, this can be either pro-Freud or anti-Freud. (You might have to look back a’ways for this one.)

The Man with a Thousand Faces
This is for the best entry that discusses the work of Carl Jung in any way. (I’ll leave that up to you. Wink, wink.)

Hypnagogic/Hypnopompic
This is the award for that dream which is not a dream. The hypnagogic and hypnopompic states are those periods right before and directly after sleep (respectively) and have been discussed quite a few times on the blogs.

The Superfluous Limb
We all have assignments for our blogs. We have to record a dream this week and record a reaction to a dream movie the next. But there have been some people who have been so kind as to give us an extra entry. Whether it was information about a book, an extended discussion of something that was mentioned in the entry before, or just a personal antecdote we all really enjoyed reading something different.

The Hollywood Walk of Fame
We’ve all had celebrities show up in our dreams. Movie stars, musicians, maybe even an author-- cameos are incredibly flattering and strange at times (why is John Goodman eating my dinner?)

The Elusive Dream
We’ve all had to do these blogs for a year and it hasn’t been easy. Sometimes it’s hard to put dream language into the english language. The winner of this award discusses that gap between the dream and the representation of the dream. A gap in logic, a strange and indescribable feeling, or maybe just how hard it was to write.

The Pop Stop
This is an award for the invasion of pop culture into a dream. (Specifically, this is not just for a celebrity.) To win this award the dream has to involve pop culture in the plot in some way. Perhaps the dreamer has to act out a scenario from a video game or a movie. Or maybe they have to get onstage and perform with Britney Spears. The options are limitless.

The Cheech and Chong Award
This is for that entry that is truly up in smoke. From Hobson to the (well) just plain recreational, drugs have turned up in our dreams and our blog entries. Pick out your favorite trip and keep on trucking.

Most Prolific
This is the award for the person who just wouldn’t stop writing. Their entries were long, making sure to describe the color of the chairs in relation to the wallpaper. Look for a person who not only has long entries but also a lot of entries.

Best (Written) in Show
This is the award for the blog you loved reading because it was just that good. This person not only dreamed interesting dreams but wrote them in a way that was clear and compelling.

The Sunshine/Fuzzy Kittens Award
This is for that blog that made you feel good-- because it’s so unthreatening. There was no questioning of your sexuality or thinking about your mother in an inappropriate way. Everything is bright colors and lollipops.

I’d like to congradulate everyone on the work that you’ve done all year-- it’s because of our work that this fake awards cerimony is possible.