"My family" is in my living room, but it doesn't look like my living room-- it looks like my Aunt Maria's old living room with the tawny hardwood floors and matching entertainment console. There are four small children from that movie Cheaper By The Dozenrunning around the room, playing. Playing the part of the wife and mother is Blythe Danner (DeNiro's wife in Meet the Parents/Fockers). Tom Amandes playing the father (Dr. Abbott from the TV show Everwood) but sometimes is also played by Lyman Ward (the father from Ferris Bueller)
I feel like I'm viewing the action through a camcorder that I'm holding. It's as if I'm just walking around the room recording the scene and no one can see me.
Two of the children go behind the entertainment console and find a strange electronic device.
- What's that? They pull the cabinet farther away from the wall.
- It's a bomb! mother says.
The kids start freaking out.
- What do we do?
- I don't know, father says.
- I wish Ferris were here to be our bomb squad, mother says, looking into the camera. (Apparently I am Ferris Bueller. And this is a little Ferris Bueller's Day Off moment.)
- I wish he were here to be my bartender, father says, also looking into the camera. (Apparently Ferris Bueller is a bartender as well.)
- What do we do?
- We have to get out of here.
The camera whip pans over to an easy chair in the corner where Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World (William Daniels, for all you keeping score at home) addresses the camera
- Thank heavens you have the Dodge Tango with optional seating for seven (with plenty of leg room) heated seats, chilled cupholders, four-wheel drive, and traction control to transfer motion from the wheels that slip to the wheels that grip. It should do plenty fine for getting us all out of here.
With that they all run out of the house and into the navy blue Dodge Tango parked in the driveway. Seating all seven of them, they power out of the driveway and down the street.
I am left holding the camera on the sidewalk.
Comments (1)
Jesus John, how many obscure actors and commercial advertisements do you have memorized! Here's a quote you should recognize: You should be on Jeoprady, "cuz' [you] know more useless shit than anybody on this planet!" (Rosie Perez, White Men Can't Jump). I mean, who knows the name of the father from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, honestly? You should put that mass of useless knowledge to work!
Posted by mR. mXyLpLyX | May 26, 2007 4:48 PM
Posted on May 26, 2007 16:48